If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
