What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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