Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
