i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
