did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
