I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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