I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
