Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
