I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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