i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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