Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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