so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And then he peed in my hair
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
