This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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