I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
