New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
