I want to make a zoo with you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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