i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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