eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You were trust falling into bushes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
