dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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