it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
