Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
