I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
