Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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