ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
