just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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