my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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