Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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