Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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