How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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