we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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