Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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(310): View more from California

I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just snuked. Sneezed and puked

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(816): View more from Missouri

She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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(937): View more from Ohio

All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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(808): View more from Hawaii

some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday

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(301): View more from Maryland

Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.

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(416): View more from Toronto

This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities

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