Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
they're like a gay fantastic four
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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