hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
