So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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