i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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