Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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