after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
