yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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