CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He has the fingertips of a God
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