I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
