"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
