Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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