I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
