he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This baby is an asshole
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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