If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
