i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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