someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
