then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
