You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
