OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
