I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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