he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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