Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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