He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
