Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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