So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
