Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
